Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
