I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
