we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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