OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
