I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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