office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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