dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
