theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
