so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
