It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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