The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
