Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
