Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
