Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
