It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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