He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
