Is it normal to miss your booty call?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
