What a fucking waste of an outfit
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i out mim tonsoeep
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