my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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