do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
