before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize