Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
