wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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