you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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