he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
