i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
