if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
