Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
