Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
