I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
