the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
