Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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