i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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