He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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