she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
