I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
