I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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