it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
