Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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