My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
