Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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