I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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