YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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