I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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