Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
