You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
