We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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