I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
