my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
