Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
