I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
