i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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