dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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