thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
