Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
