love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
