.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
