were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
