they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
