this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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