Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
