I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
