Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
