I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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