He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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