Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
