Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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