I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
