Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
